How to Beat Tattletale Software – Your Boss is Going to Hate Me…If They Ever Find Out.
Some may be asking themselves if I have any compunction in teaching you how to beat tattletale software. The answer is? Not even slightly. I think tattletale software is evil and all evil must be defeated. That’s exactly what you’ll be able to do now. BONUS? We’ll expand on what you learned in my previous article; Working from Home Without Working.
The recipe for success lies in the following ingredients:
- A desktop computer and monitor (NO LAPTOPS)
- Remote access software (TeamViewer is excellent. LogMeIn is also very good.)
- A Decent Internet connection (defined as 20 Mbps MINIMUM but the more the better.)
- An Ethernet cable (NO WIFI)
- A virtual assistant
This article’s title: how to beat tattletale software will not work for you if you do not stick to the above shopping list to the letter. The reason why will become clear quickly.
How to Set Up Your New “Mission Control” step by step:
- Set up your new desktop computer, plug it in to your Internet router via the Ethernet cable. A direct internet connection is ALWAYS faster than WiFi. We want all the speed we can get because of step 2….
- Download and install TeamViewer or LogMeIn (I have used these two programs for YEARS and I can recommend them through personal and professional experience. The monthly fee is worth it and you CANNOT skimp on this.) Remote access requires a lot of bandwidth ergo all of the Internet speed you can muster delivered directly over a wire.
- Download and install all of your employer’s necessary software. Even the tattletale shitware.
- Get your virtual assistant setup to access your new computer They probably already know how and will just need the remote access the software provides.
You see where I’m heading by now…
You’re using a desktop computer because it does not come with a built-in camera. And it will NEVER have a working camera. When your boss, HR or the IT people tell you to install a camera your first excuse is that you can’t because there are shortages everywhere and they are impossible to buy (this is true as I write this). One day, webcams will be available again and when they are yours just won’t work due to a problem with your USB ports. Or solar flares. Or whatever. Just don’t have a working camera connected to your desktop computer which makes present or future video surveillance of you impossible. Think I’m kidding? Some employee monitoring software takes pictures of you throughout the day or runs continuous video steams to make sure you are sitting where you are supposed to be sitting all damn day. Intrusive? Way more than that. It’s evil.
Attend video meetings from your phone.
Your virtual assistant will login to your desktop (Mission Control) during YOUR usual business hours and DO YOUR WORK FOR YOU. For the first few days and weeks you will need to monitor your VA constantly to insure they truly “get it” and are delivering quality work at least as good as you could and deliver everything on time or ahead of schedule whenever possible.
Let me tell you – watching someone do your work for you is an epic experience.
From there you will need stay up to date with your VA to make sure they are on task so you look good. Your VA does most – if not all – of your work for you. You check all of their work, improve or edit as needed then send it.
Eventually, the camera thing becomes a non-issue as it will becomes crystal clear you (your VA, actually) is in the running for “Employee of the Year”. All the while the tattletale software – and your boss – is blissfully unaware of what is actually happening.
When you have mastered this “how to beat tattletale software” guide feel free to take long weekends anywhere you want anytime you want. Mardi Gras? Las Vegas? Antiquing in the Appalachians? Or leave the country for a month on an extended tour of wineries in the south of France. Or all of France. Take a week to stay in Aspen and take skiing lessons from a pro. Or learn how to BBQ from a Memphis pitmaster in Tennessee. Hit up the Met and the Guggenheim in New York City. Go nuts. Let your imagination run wild. Just make sure to check in with your virtual assistant and the office regularly to make sure all of the trains are running on time and none of them have run off the rails.
Wherever your travels may take you just be sure to run all of your corporate communications through your desktop computer at Mission Control. IP addresses can be traced by country, by state and even by city. Therefore, your desktop computer is the ONLY computer you use for the work you are being paid to do.